Never Loved You!
by bordoutofmymind
Summary: Carlos & Logan move in with each other, Btr dosent excist. What happens when Logan still has feeling for someone? Jarlos & Korgan at first but Cargan takes over. One-shot... I think.


**so this is a new one-shot i think... Lol i know i havnt been updating my other story but i'm having writers block with those storys SORRY!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own big time rush. **

**Okay on to the story dont forget to R&R**

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**CARLOS POV**

Light streaming in through the window hits his face so perfectly, it just makes me smile but he doesn't think he is beautiful I don't get why he's just perfect just the way he is. He keeps pulling out his pocket mirror to see if his hair is messed up or if he has any imperfections on his face.

"James, you look fine." I said starting to get annoyed by his actions.

"Stop lying to me." He spat.

"Babe, your perfect stop worrying about it." I said looking into his eyes.

"I know you're lying _Carlos_." He spat running off to the bathroom to do, who knows what.

I'm really starting to get annoyed by this, he spends like five hours in the bathroom a day and always has his so called lucky comb with him and his pocket mirror, he never goes anywhere without them, one time I had this romantic date set up and we weren't able to go because he couldn't find them we spent the whole evening trying to look for that stupid comb and mirror when they were in his pocket the whole time. Don't get me wrong I love him to death but sometime I just don't know anymore, it just feels like he loves his comb and mirror more than me.

After he was finally ready we left to go on are romantic date, I had planned for are six month anniversary. Entering the restaurant the waitress showed us to our table.

"Wow this place is nice." James said looking around.

"Yeah it is. I got you something." I said, he turned to look at me.

"Oh, what did you get me?" He said child-like, reaching in the bag I brought pulling out a small box and a large one I handed it to him. Once I handed it to him he ripped the wrapping paper of the large on first and stared at it wide-eyed and smiling.

"Thank you!" he practically shouted I just couldn't help but smile, he opened the small one and looked at it for a second and set it aside, then he looked up at me.

"Why did you do all this?" he said staring at me confused.

"What do you mean why did I do all this?" I stared at him dumbfounded that he doesn't even know what today is.

"Well why did you do this? Today isn't anything special." He said, tears started to well up in my eyes.

"I have to go, bye _James._" I spat getting up from the table and left the restaurant.

Walking around the city, tears spilling from my eyes, I couldn't help but think of the look on James's face when he opened the large present what I cave him, it was a hair dryer what he's been wanting for like forever, but when he opened the small gift there was no emotion when he saw it, it was a necklace what had my name on it and I bought a second one that had his name on it that I was going to ware but I don't know anymore. I'm not going to go home tonight I honestly can't see his face right now, walking down the street I see a park in the distance, I decided to make my way over as I think things over. I don't know if I should end it with him or not even though we still haven't had _sex _and that he won't kiss me in public I still don't want to end it but my brain is overriding my heart and telling me it's for the best.

Sitting down at one of the benches at the park I was so lost in my thought I didn't know there was someone sitting next to me, I turn to look at him, he has pale skin and dark brown almost black hair, and he was crying.

"Hey are you okay." I whispered, he was surprised and almost fell off the bench. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to scare you." I said in a worried tone." By the way my name is Carlos." I said with a shy smile.

"It's okay and my name is Logan." He choked out.

"Are you okay?" I said, he just looked at me.

"No. not really." He said trying to hold back tears.

"What happened?" I asked. Taking an interest I him.

"I think I might have to break up with my _boyfriend._" He said letting the tears fall freely.

"You too?" I said he turned and looked at me like I was crazy. "So what happened?" I asked.

He took a deep breath and began to tell me.

"My _boyfriend _is cheating on me." he said trying to hold back the tears I gasped at that 'how could anyone cheat on someone so cute.' "and the best thing of all I found out about this today on our six month anniversary." He said, the words dripping with sarcasm.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "Do you know who he's cheating on you with?" I asked.

"Yeah I do some guy called _James diamond_." He said, I just stared at him in shock as silent tears escaped my eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked looking at me.

"Are you sure it is James diamond?" I asked with a little hope hopping its not him but he just nodded he's head yes. "What! I can't believe this." I said standing up.

"What's wrong?" he asked standing up and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"That's my boyfriend." I said. he just stared at me wide-eyed.

"R…R….Really?" he stuttered, I just nodded my head. "I'm sorry"

"It's not your fault." I said giving him a smile as we sat back down. "What's your boyfriends name?" I asked.

"_Kendall Knight."_ He spat. "He's not going to be my boyfriends for much longer."

"I know how you feel." I said with a sigh.

"Well I better get going." He said standing up. "It was nice meeting you Carlos, hope to see you around." He said, as I stood up.

"Same here, well I guess it's time to break up with them." I said.

"yeah, I guess so. Bye Carlos." He said starting to walk away.

"Bye Logan." I said staring at his back side 'what am I doing I should get his number.' I thought as Logan gets further away. "Logan wait up." I yell running towards him, he didn't even turn around. "Logie wait!" I yell once more as he stopped and turned around, I get up to him breathing heavy.

"What?" he said looking at me confused. "Did you just call me Logie?" he asked, I felt the blood rush to my face.

"Yeah I did sorry." I said looking at the ground.

"It's okay I like it." He said with a smile. "So what did you want?" he asked.

"Oh…..um…..could I get your number?" I asked/stuttered, he just smiled.

"I thought you wouldn't ask." He said. "Give me your phone." He said, I handed him it, after about thirty seconds he handed it back. "Okay see you around Carlos." He said walking away.

I stared at him as he walked away then turned my gaze to my phone looking through the contacts I see a he put his number in my phone under the name Logie, I smiled and made my way home, even the thought of James cheating on me couldn't break away the smile on my face.

**~Line Break, 5 weeks~**

After I went home the night I meet Logan, I broke things off with James and he didn't care and Logan broke things off with Kendall too. The first week I was trying to find a place to live, after about a couple of days searching I found an awesome apartment but there was someone else interested in it to and by chance it was Logan so we got the apartment together. After getting to know Logan a little bit more, on the second week I asked him out and he said yes.

Today is our one month anniversary, making my way out of the store just picked up Logan's favorite flowers and got him a bear holding a heart with the word 'CARGAN' stitched in it, getting into my car starting it and making my way home to see the one person I love.

Walking into our house, putting the flowers and teddy bear down on the table I notice a piece of paper laying there but I just ignore it and walk to our room.

"Logan you home?" I said entering the room not getting answer back 'I wonder where he could be' I thought to myself as I walked over to the closet pulling out a nice out fit to ware, pulled out a black tank top, purple button up with a black tie with white pin stripes on it and black pants setting the close down on the bed, I walked to the bathroom to get ready noticing the door was closed 'why would it be closed' I thought twisting the door knob when I got this feeling telling me to stop don't open the door but I just ignored it I really wish I would have listened to that nagging feeling because what I saw shattered my world.

"LOGAN!" I screamed, running over to his side 'why would he do this? Why?' I thought dropping to my knees pulling his lifeless body into my lap, he was laying on the floor, razor on the floor as well both his wrist are cut DEEP he's even paler then before, holding him in my lap trying to pull out my cell phone. Once I got it out of my pocket I dialed 911. They told me to stay on the line but I couldn't that bitch was annoying, the said they sent someone. About fifteen minutes passed and there was someone banging on the front door it was left unlocked so they can walk in because I'm not moving from Logies side, I heard the front door open after about a minute of someone constantly banging on the door.

"LAPD anyone in here?" an officer called out.

"YES! In the bathroom. Please help!" I scream out as police officers and paramedics swarm into the tiny area. The paramedics wrap up Logan's arms and pull him off of me and onto a stretcher. They started to wheel him away.

"Can I go with him?" I asked.

"No I'm sorry only family." The paramedic said wheeling Logan out of the room and out of the house into the ambulance.

"We have a few questions for you." One of the officers said.

"Can it wait I have to get to the hospital and make sure my boyfriend will make it." I said harshly walking towards the door, but the officer grabbed my arm.

"No it can't wait." He spat.

"Okay fine what so god damn important that this couldn't wait huh?" I spat back getting pissed off.

After about fifteen minutes of answering ridicules questions I was able to leave to the hospital.

Walking towards the front desk seeing an old nurse sitting there, as I approached her I had this bad feeling.

"excuse me miss." I said politely.

"Yes." She said.

"I'm here to see Logan Mitchel." I said, I saw her whole expression change to a frown when I mentioned his name.

"Are you family." She said.

"Yes I'm actually his fiancé." I lied.

"Okay….please go to Doctor Jake's office its room 203." She said with a sad smile.

"Um… Why?" I said confused.

"Well the doctor needs to go over stuff with you." She said as I nodded and walked to Jake's office.

Knocking on the door, still highly confused about why I have to talk to him. The door opened and standing there was a guy a little bit taller than me with short brown hair, hazel eyes he's kind of cute.

"Uh are you Jake?" I asked.

"Yes, and you must be Mr. Garcia. Right?" he said, I just nodded my head yes. "Why don't you come in and take a seat." He said moving aside to let me in, I sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk as he took his seat across from me.

"Why am I in here?" I said, and he frowned.

"Well I am sorry to inform you the Mr. Mitchel has passed." He said.

"What no that's impossible he can't be dead." I yell standing up.

"I am truly sorry for your loss. We did everything we could but he lost too much blood, I'm sorry." He said standing up and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"C…C…Can I see him?" I asked through sobs.

"Yes follow me." He said walking toward the door and exiting the room as I followed. He stopped in front of a door. "This is his room, I'll give you a moment alone with him. I am sorry." He said opening the door for me.

Walking into the room the door shut behind me, making my way over to the bed where I see Logan, laying down not moving not doing anything, but he looks peaceful. Standing by the bed I grab his hand and hold his cold hand in mine, the tears won't stop flowing.

"Logie I love you. Why did you do this? Why did you leave me?" I asked. Not getting anything in response. Leaning forward placing a soft kiss on his lips, "I will always love you." I said kissing his forehead. "Goodbye Logan." I sobbed out not wanting this to be goodbye. With that I left the room.

"Are you going to be okay?" Jakes asked full concern in his voice.

"No. No I'm not going to be okay the person I love killed himself." I said harshly.

"I know how you feel." He said looking in my eyes.

"What someone you loved killed them self?" I asked wiping the tears away.

" was about two years ago his name was Jensen and we were dating for about six months it was actually are six month anniversary, I thought he was going to purpose to me that night but he didn't, I didn't even get to say goodbye and I wasn't able to say I love you one last time." He said slightly sniffling.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"It's okay, but I'm kind of worried about you." He said with a faint blush.

"Why?" Was all I said.

"Well I know how it feels to lose the person you love, and it's going to be extremely hard but you can get through it." He said as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Okay?" I said looking at him.

"Well before you go here's my number, if you need _anything_, even if it's at three o'clock in the morning don't hesitate to call even if you just need to talk." He said handing me his number.

"Um…Okay thanks." I said walking away from him and heading home.

Sitting at the table staring at the flowers and teddy bear sniffling, I keep wondering why he did it. Looking at the piece of paper that was on the table I notice it has me name on it and its in Logan's hand writing, grabbing the paper.

_Dear Carlos_

_I am sorry! I didn't want it to end like this but it had to, I am not in love with you don't get me wrong I love you but more like a brother, I'm sorry that I wasn't able to love you, my heart still belongs to Kendall and I can't stand not being with him even though he as cheated on me and has moved on I still can't move on I'm sorry, I just can't live without him. I'm sorry if you're the one who finds my body. Please forgive me Carlos, I'm sorry for doing this on our one month anniversary. _

_Goodbye Carlos_

_Love _

_Logie._

"He never loved me." I said as stray tears fell from my eyes. "I Forgive you Logan, and I'll always love you, I'm sorry I wasn't able to make you happy." I said putting the letter down and standing up walking to the kitchen opening a drawer and pulling out a knife. 'Should I do this' I thought as I pulled out my cell phone and Jakes number contemplating what I should do. Dialing the number and setting the phone down wondering if I should do this. Picking up my phone and calling him, after about to rings he answered.

"Hello who is this?"

"Hi its Carlos is this Jake?" I asked.

"Oh hey Carlos, yeah it's me. what's up?" He said.

"Would you be able to come over?" I said quietly.

"Yeah sure, are you okay though?" he said worriedly.

"No I'm not." I said.

"Okay what's your address?" He asked.

I gave him my address and after that he hung up saying he's on his way. 'Should I do this and at least some one will find my body or should I wait for Jake to get here and talk about it.' I thought as I stared at the knife.

I was staring at the knife for about five minutes before I decided to pick it up, staring at the blade, pressing it to my skin pulling it across my wrist feeling the pain run through my body as I made another cut it felt so good to feel this pain I didn't feel an of the emotional pain anymore, taking the knife and running it across my write one more time before moving to the other wrist I can't even describe the feeling. Making three new cuts on my other wrist about to make another on when there was a knock at the door what startled me and made me cut myself on accident making me scream out in pain as blood rushed out of the DEEP cut, I started to feel dizzy as spots danced around my vision my legs feeling like Jell-O not being able to hold my weight anymore I collapsed on the floor, as darkness engulfed me last thing I heard was someone ponding on the door.

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**So what do you think? What was up with the doctor? did Carlos Die? **

**Should i just end it like this or and another chapter or what?**

**Oh dont forget to REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! **


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